OTR Blogger | 4th July 2017

OTR Blog – Managing difficult relationships

A relationship can have its ups and downs, but sometimes the relationship can include more downs then ups.

An unhealthy relationship can lead to the deterioration of a person’s mental wellbeing. An unhealthy/abusive relationship is not gender specific – the abuser can be both male and female, nor does it matter if they are in a heterosexual or homosexual relationship.

At OTR we work to promote and support individuals who are struggling mentally.

There is a lot of pressure to be in a relationship and possibly a sexual relationship too. More often than not, abuse can be due to the loss of power with one of the individuals or sometimes even due to them experiencing abuse themselves. However, no matter the cause, abuse is never the solution.

It is often found that the victim of the abuse does not recognise they are being abused as they believe that their partner loves them. Or, it may be their first relationship so they do not have previous relationship experience and they believe the actions taken are normal.

For a year I was in an abusive relationship; both verbal and physical abuse. It affected my relationships with my family and friends, I became isolated from everyone and everything. It took me a long time to realise that this relationship was not healthy, and once I realised that I was able to distance myself from it.

My biggest advice is to have family and friends to support you after the breakup, do not isolate yourself and realise you are not alone.

How to leave the relationship:

  • Admit you are in an abusive relationship
  • Reassure yourself that the abuse is not your fault
  • Tell your family and friends that you trust
  • Try to spend less time with them
  • Set boundaries
  • Have a safe break-up

In a safe breakup you don’t have to do it in person, but if you are, bring someone along with you if you are scared they will hurt you. Make it short, tell them you are leaving them and give a reason. Then turn and leave, don’t argue or repeat why you are leaving – just leave.

Here is some more information from the lovely peeps at Wellcast.

You teach people how to treat you!